# Mendetik Rasa

# What it is

Do you know that you are the one who giving me back to breathe?

The warmness of you surrounding my veins...

I already forgot what is called love...

Every second...

You there.

You exist.

I feel alive.

I love your smile...

I love the way you are..

I crawl from this sombre life...

From my deep lonely heart...

You colored my life....

I'm stuck when I see you...

I'm sorry that I am not like some women out there...

I'm sorry to not say something forbidden...

I'm sorry to not show what supposed to be...

from the deep of my heart...

I dont know what it is...
I only know that I want to take care of you...

You.... afraid of losing...

Its okay... 

I understand...

I take my steps behind slowly....

Then, you dont need to hurt and feel the burdens anymore...
soon...

Why we met?

God knows.

But, if He wills.....

                        (Amy Yahaya)

# Let Thee Down

shalt I deny

the hatred in my eyes 

wilt dissolves thee like acid

hopelessnes

thou run away, run away

where to go

but my eyes are looking

thou burnt in sorrow 

yes, I shalt leave 

                             (Amy Yahaya)

# Abang Takut?

credit to migonline

Now, I'll post about a Malay film. A horror Malay film. Yesterday, I went to GCS, Queensbay looking some films I wanted to watch then I'd chose PENGANTIN MALAM (Night Bride/Revenge of The Bride). I didn't know why because honestly I rarely watch Malay films at cinema but only in front of TV. So sorry. This time I forced myself maybe I'd influenced by some actors's promotion poster at their own instagram or trailer or whatever.

Pengantin Malam's casts are Nora Danish, Farid Kamil and Nina Iskandar. I dont want to write plot in here I just want to give simple reviews about this film as a 'nobody' audience. Overall, this film is not bad. Yes, it can gives you some heart shocked. Hahaha! Nice playing by Nora Danish that played a woman who suffered because she's hunted until exorcised by a revenge woman ghost acted by Nina Iskandar that related with the husband. Farid Kamil's acting is okay. The makeup looks good and the action on exorcism scene makes me said "uuuuuuuu, ok thats scary!" and the tagline I like is "Abang takut?" (Are you scared, dear?) But, I was thinking why a ghost walks like a human? Spoiled! Actually, I watched it alone. Imagined that there're nobody on my side when the thriller crawling to my skin. I need to "Okay, I can control my hormones. No big deal!" Hahaha ;p Well, my advice is try watch it compared to other dumbass horror Malay films before. It's worth. Nora bagi 3 setengah bintanggggggggggggg!!!

credit to myartis.com

That's all. Thank you for reading :)

# Langit Mula Runtuh (When Sky Fallen)

Oh dear! I've left my blog almost half in year! Gosh! What hectic life I'd went through day by day. Well, now I come back. First thing is I customize my blog to look new, simple and pretty. Some stories I will write in here but depend on my time and my will. So now, I will post about my first stage with a new family, TAP Production collaboration with Bakawalee Penang in USM. Before this, I was with my old club, Proscenium Shahputra when I was in diploma at Kuantan, Pahang around 2009-2012.

The story is based on 18th-century French epistolary novel by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, Les Liaisons Dangereuses and playwright by Christopher Hampton. You can directly go to Les Liaisons Dangereuses and Dangerous Liaisons for more information. Actually this is the first time it was written and played in Malay language and also performed by us. The script is written by our sifu, Yusof Bakar @ Dudok and its directed by Taufik Sallehudin (Apek). The setting is in late-60s and we're need to spoke in that era. We're training about 8 weeks only. The show was held on 30-31 May 2014 and I was chosen to be in first cast to started the first day show. Guess what I got for my role? Hehe so with my own credibility, my role is Laila (similar to Madame de Tourveil) but the script already edited according to our culture and religion (means all the sex scenes based on the original play need to be cutted out).

Role's changing name:

Marquise de Merteuil = Suraya
Vicomte de Valmont = Razif
Madame de Tourveil = Laila
Cecile de Volanges = Hana
Madame de Volanges = Maria
Chevalier Raphael Danceny = Mohsin

extra :

3 Gangsters


Here, I post some scenes from Langit Mula Runtuh show. I tried to post them according scene by scene but it seems not really much I have here. Nevermind, just enjoyed the pictures. All the photos are credited to Yusof Bakar and edited by me.

First Day Show

Suraya asked Razif to corrupted Maria's daughter, Hana because she'd revenge to her recent lover, Hj Razali by having a virgin as his wife soon 

Laila in mourning mood for her beloved late husband due to ship sank

 Maria with her daughter, Hana came to gave condolence to Laila

Hana was introduced by her mother

Hana refused to be married with Hj Razali and Maria was upset

Hana is teasing Cikgu Mohsin (teacher)

Cikgu Mohsin read a poem from Chairil Anwar's poem for Hana

Both of them in love

Suraya was trying to incite Razif because he can never get Laila's love and they're betting to each other included Laila as a wager

Laila, a lonely widower who loves to read

Razif was trying to seduced Laila and fall in love with her eventually but Laila refused due to his reputation as a playboy

Razif came back to get her heart but Laila refused again

a moment when Laila read love letter from Razif and slowly give her hearts to him

 Razif and a gangster's leader

Razif actually complotted with gangsters as the last way to get Laila's love

 

Maria was angry when she saw some love letters between Hana and Cikgu Mohsin

Maria insulted Cikgu Mohsin as a man who wants her money 

Razif deflowered Hana as Suraya's wish

Suraya asked Razif to dumped Laila according to their deal

Razif forced himself to revealed the truth to Laila that she's only a wager and tried to hide his true love instead. Laila feels cheated and hate him

Suraya was trying to incited Mohsin about Hana's deflowered because she's in a war with Razif

Mohsin confronted with Razif and Razif told about Suraya's true intention

Here, I posted Cast 1 and Cast 2:

 Suraya

 Razif

Laila

Hana

Maria

 Mohsin

Gangsters

 The Casts

Taufiq Sallehuddin (Apek), our generous director

Till we meet again guys... muchos <3 p="">

That's all for the post.

# They Come They Go

I was walked this route long time limitless,

I looked tired and meaningless,

Tears and thorns are my loyal friends,

My heart blew like sands

They come they go,

They look me like an angel,

Sadness and burdens

I carry their's for their happiness

They come they go,

My wings are broken

Now I left alone with self burdens

They go and go

This heavy pains,

This bloody tears,

This broken wings,

This burdens,

I go and go nowhere

   

                             (Amy Yahaya)

I am a loner who have strong passions to live because I've my God to accompany me through hard life & hidden pains behind my smiles & laughs. Broken inside & need to acting properly that i'm okay in reality. Yes, this world is a stage. I cant make you love me. I am me. They all can leave or I leave because I still stay positive with my God.

# Hey, Memorable!

Phewww!!!

What a long period I didn't write any posts in here. Well, now in September 2013, I already be a student of Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM Apex) with majoring of Communication Graphic. Lot of experiences I got as a new student. I am 26 years old and friends told me " Are you sure you're 26? You look 20!! Show me your IC!", "What? You already married?? How come? We dont believe it!". LOL. Average my friends were came from STPM & Matriks holders so they're between 19 & 20-21 old along with others who 30s too.

I got lot of friends here. And I'm happy. I leave behind all the nightmares and dumbass people and let them fade away. My experiences were just like firstly to be honored to make speech in front of my desasiswa's penggawa (USM hostel name as Desasiswa while penggawa is something like more Big Papa hahaha no idea) and VIPS and desasiswa's staffs at our hostel dinner. Upss, my desasiswa is Bakti Permai! Yes! I love my Bakti Permai :).. Its sooooo warm, relax, nice, comfy and blah blah blah... Back to my story, I have gave some simple speech about what I felt about being in USM and well... i am definitely a sensitive person... and yeah i lost then I cried.. yes I cried in front of them.. Because for me, it was my dream to further my study at IPTA. Before this I aimed UiTM then I dreamed of USM. Penggawa and others seem surprised and some of them give me courages to achieve what I want and what my father's hope, 'First Class of Bachelor'. What a higher hope from him to me.

Orientation week also gives me sweetest memories with Bakti's friends. Sleepy, annoyed, insulted silently the panels on the stage, make crazy noises and lots. Oh yeah! We're new students are MUST to attend their own program called PIMPIN SISWA (camp) and we were separated by divided into different locations. I was chosen to be in Batu Ampar's camp. Dont have time to bath, rushing to pray (i was guilty tu left my pray because of I didn't have chance to took a shower and i was soooo smelly. i hate myself that time!), trained like armies (our commander was actually Mejar okay!) and played with dirty things. Honestly, what I want was to go back our hostel as soon as possible. Fun but nightmare too hahaha.. I really dont like one woman Fc assistant at our camp and i didnt remember her name. She is something like older like aunt and i always thinking to slap her face because of her bullshit mouth & words! sorry.. My fave program at Batu Ampar was Nightwalking. All of us have to wore plastic raincoat with supplied water bottle & a tiny candle. That night was a rainy. We were walking together in one line then suddenly have to walk alone in the darkness with a candle. Alhamdulillah, my candle didn't blow away and Abg Ady actually always there behind me not too far not nearest because I was close to him. Thanks abg Ady :). He told me that moment showed about my life walking in the darkness without nobody except a light from candle which accompany me. What a sense of value.

Then, USM always organized an event called Variasiswa for new students in every desasiswa to fight by using talent. Unique again! And I have to be an evil Indian woman who smoke tobacco as a sign of polluting air along with friends. Our Baktis perform a story of superheroes like Power Ranges but called Raw Rangers. They will fight a group of waste paper evil, tobacco evil & polysterine evil by uniquely dance with dangdut, tamil & chinese dancing. My group of evil dance like Tamil's film. But unfortunately, we lost in top 3 compared last Variasiswa. But I have been chosen as The Best Woman Contestant for my roleplay. What a meaningful day for me! Also seniors of Bakti have chosen me too as The Most Sporting Freshie (Woman) for my Bakti. I was so grateful... Ya Allah, Alhamdulillah :) Guys, overall we did it with fun & memorable!

*will upload my roleplay picture soon*
*will upload video of Bakti's performance soon*
*sleepy right now and will edit my english soon. i know its terrible*

I think thats all for today. Now I'm sleepy. Once I get my new lappy I want to story a lot soon in here. Good night! Selamat Malam! Oyasumi! The End.