# I feel...lone right now

i think this month is the most depressing month early this year for me..sebab mak & abah akan balik kampung dan stay kt sana terus..i feel missing..yeah i know i am not a good child for them..always make them angry & worry everytime..i dont know why..everyday aku nanges..macam poyo..xkisah tp its true..even aku selalu bercanggah pendapat with them smpi hurting kt hati sekalipun..yeah but i love them really2...they are my real best buddies beside as my parents..aku akan luah semua kepahitan even ianya includes sekali ketidak matangan aku dalam handle my life..yeah they my parents..they will never talk bad behind me after knew all the stories..xmacam org lain..thats why i need them..aku suka dok jauh2...belajar jauh2..but this time mcm weird..aku mcm goyah..macam nak cakap "mak, abah..jangan la lek lg!tggu amy kawin dulu.." aku rasa takut ja..mcm dah xpndi nak berdikari je aku ni..

subuh2 dah xnmpk org tengah solat subuh smpi aku bangun solat..dah xda bunyik periuk belanga pg2 siapkan sarapan..dah xda org bukak tv pg2 psg channel MESTI tv9 ceramah pagi smpi aku nak gi keje last program Geng Bahasa Arab..dah xda org dok tekan2 suh cepat siap sbb beliau nak gi pejabat HQ dulu..balik umah pun dah xda kucing2 menemani, org tido kt dpn tv, lek dari surau, tngok tv smpi tgh mlm, tngok muka aku mcm cuka getah hasil fighting perasaan dgn mr tunang....dah xkan nmpk amek aku kt pejabat lg, dah xkn rasa naik motor ke arah jalan2 menghala office dan ke rumah even mr tunang boleh amek..not same...kalo org baca entry ni maybe ckp xguna nak ckp benda2 ni..dulu xnk hargai la apala..guys, soal hargai hanya mak & abah je tau..the most tau exactly Allah swt..just nak sharing detik2 tu yg dah xda da..anak bongsu?yaa right i hate somebody perli2 mcm tu..(T T) nak luah mslh kena sms...20sen per sms..xpela...jnj sms..uuuu...aku selalu fikir if mereka tiada lagi..nak sms pun sapa nk balas?aku xptot ckp begini but aku jujur aku xleh hidup tanpa mereka..jujur..i cant..mr tunang pun aku xrasa dia boleh lindung or love or whatever else mcm mereka..aku senang murung..i'm so scare..if i die before them...:))

cute kan? :) even they are not wealthy but they are more than that..

then at the office, ada sis ni dapat keje baru..keja gov...jdk pegawai pertanian..cool right? well thats her passion..sapa nak halang? so...hrmm...why everybody leave me? aku plg rapat dgn kak yati..gossips, counceling each others, laughing together, mad each other...if she xda...who else i will luah2?office ni ada staff 4 org je..dia xda tggl 3 orang..dahla aku staff sorang utk office construction..HQ jb plak xpk staff kt sini..campur lagi dgn masalah nk kawin...(T T)

me with kak Yati..but my face like banana -.-'

dugaan apakah ini?just dont know what to say..only can wrote on this post..just go on..dont forget them..pray for them as they pray for me...Thank you Allah for this obstacle that i have go through..i know You loves Your servant thats why you give them tests so they can always remember & be grateful to You...i have to be strong and courageous. kbai.

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